Fight Me Scrublord

breadsacrifice

glumshoe

raccoons make no sense because they will leave your birdseed and garbage and garden and compost pile alone but they WILL open a barrel and pull out an empty 5 gallon gas canister and unscrew the lid and leave it in your yard and also untie the dog tether from your porch beam for no reason

glumshoe

one time I watched a raccoon pull up plastic tent stakes at a campground and just walk away, content with causing mischief

another time at camp I woke up to find a raccoon had grabbed the yarn that connected the string telephones my neighbor and I had strung up between our cabin windows and was just yanking on it… I grabbed one end and ended up in a tug-of-war over the string phone while this beefy raccoon pulled and pulled, hand over hand, making direct eye contact with me

and sometimes they’d sneak into cabins and just…. touch people while they slept

why!!! who said you could act like this!!!

demonologique

god gave them hands but not shame

callalili

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kyleversushisbrain

filmnoirsbian

Restaurants and bars really love to test your sobriety by making the route to their bathrooms as labyrinthine as possible

filmnoirsbian

Me: I'm not that drunk

Me trying to figure out where the Fuck they've hidden the restrooms in this bar: So this is how Odysseus felt huh

filmnoirsbian

Everyone tagging this post with their local bars/restaurants that have ridiculous bathroom layouts.....I see u. I am u. We are all Odysseus, and our Ithaca is a toilet covered in stickers.

sydmarch

ok I just HAVE to include this picture from inside the bathroom door of this one bar I went to

only one of these knobs work and it's not the one that's a different color from the rest

cephalopodvictorious

There’s a tourist trap in NYC called the Jekyll and Hyde Club. It’s kitsch, overpriced, and kinda fun. The elevator is wonky on purpose, there’s animatronic talking heads on the walls, the paintings talk, the waiters are dressed up, and it’s all interactive. I’ve been there a few times.

But the bathroom?

This is the hallway to the bathroom. You have to read the titles of the books to figure it out. And they don’t tell you how to get in.

mistressmiyu

Riddle me piss!

broadwaytheanimatedseries

Okay riddle me piss caught me off guard and now instead of being angry that these bathrooms exist I'm trying not to laugh and wake everyone up

kyleversushisbrain

iwouldbelost

littlemisspipebomb

We all making jokes about Zuko working at the tea shop as firelord, and how humble he is towards his servants. But what if a diplomat from the earth kingdom shows up one day and catches Zuko in a more casual outfit while being ushered through the palace. The diplomat mentions something about how Lee must be very good at making tea if he was sent all the way to the fire nation and asks to be served during the meeting. Not one to turn down an offer Zuko obliges and disappears off into the kitchen. The diplomat sits down at the meeting table, awaiting the arrival of the firelord when his tea arrives. He pours a cup for everyone sat around the table including the firelord. The diplomat inquiries when the firelord will be joining, to which Zuko responds by sitting in the throne at the head of the table.